This year is tearing away from us, Gonzo bankers. 2012 has been a year of fast-paced Weirdness, with ABC News reporting on eight King-Sized financial scandals in just the past five months!
Jamie Dimon is alternating between his typical smugly superior persona and his smugly apoplectic persona depending on the day of the week. We have one vendor seeking new debt and equity partners, but is definitely not for sale. Another is still trying to downplay a hacking incident and the regulatory response to it. And get this – Citi’s former CEO, Sandy Weill, argued for separating retail banks from their better looking and richer investment bank cousins and said, “Our world hates bankers,” in the same interview on CNBC’s “Squawk Box.” No crap – Sandy Freakin’ Weill.
That’s a pace that even the best of us just can’t manage. Disagree? Well, take this short quiz from the VendorDirt pages of GonzoBanker to see just how In-the-Know you are these days. No extra credit will be given.
1. Which big shot executive, a vocal proponent of The American Dream and community banks’ role in the future of banking, also sits on the Board (including the Audit Committee) of $200 billion megabank HSBC USA, now on Senate investigators’ radar for allegedly failing to prevent billions of dollars’ worth of money transfers with organizations tied to drug cartels, Iran and suspected terrorist groups?
A. Lalita Ramdas, Chair of the Board, Greenpeace International
B. Steven Crea, Lucchese Family Godfather (alleged)
C. Louis Hernandez, CEO, Open Solutions
D. Sherriff Joe Arpaio, Maricopa County, Arizona
2. Which lightly deployed software was recently listed by CEB TowerGroup as a “Best in Class” solution in three categories?
A. DigiScents iSmell
B. Fiserv Aperio
C. Lotus 1-2-3
D. Linux
3. In a sign of the times for the big players and a screaming endorsement for banks and CUs to alter their contract negotiation strategies, which bank tech provider now has a payments group with 1.1X more revenue and 1.3X more operating income than its traditional core/ancillary division?
A. FIS
B. PayPal
C. Jack Henry
D. Fiserv
4. In another sign of the times for the big players and a screaming endorsement for banks and CUs to alter their contract negotiation strategies, which bank tech provider now lists its Payments products on its Web site before its Core and Ancillary products?
A. FIS
B. Harland
C. Jack Henry
D. Fiserv
5. Who was the CEO and which product was he describing in the 2Q12 earnings call: “And in fact, it’s likely, given … how new the solution is, that it will still be a couple of years before we even have credit unions who understand enough about what the technology can do that they’re really getting the most out of it. Which is not surprising.”
A. Kai Backman discussing Tinkercad’s new 3-D printing app
B. Mike Kelly describing PSCU’s CardLock anti-fraud solution
C. Jeff Yabuki discussing Fiserv’s Acumen product
D. Ludwik Medeksza discussing Zabaware’s Ultra Hal artificial intelligence software
E. Jim Goodnight discussing SAS’s Predictive Analytics and Data Mining software
6. Which company’s marketing team was either drunk or had already exhausted its budget by the time it came to naming this new product?
A. Microsoft Bob
B. Nad’s natural hair removal gel
C. Sony Vaio
D. Jack Henry goDough® mobile banking software
7. At which company’s annual conference can you take a test with a #2 pencil, buy some licorice flavoring for cigarettes, reorder your checks and invest in a new branch automation platform?
A. Haribo
B. M&F Worldwide, parent of Harland
C. Reynolds American
D. Wal-Mart
8. Which of these looks most like your loyal GonzoBanker contributor?
A. This Dude
B. Pat Sajak
C. Bobcat Goldthwaite
D. Seth Rogen
Answers:
1) C
2) B
3) A
4) D
5) C
6) D
7) B
8) C – It’s Bobcat. I get it all the time.
Key:
- 7/8 – What great financial technology acumen, er, insight you have!
- 6/8 – Not bad – maybe a Pac 10 degree?
- 5/8 – OK, so you took a vacation day or two in July.
- 4/8 – You’re just skimming the headlines.
- 3/8 – This is what happens when American Banker is your main source of news.
- 2/8 – Yeesh, did you guess all C’s??
- 0/8 or 1/8 – Damn, you could throw darts and get two right.
See? Nice and easy this week, GonzoFreaks. Here to help.
-Hodgins
Vendor Market Intelligence You Can Trust
Whether you’re just window shopping or you’re ready to lock in, Cornerstone Advisors has the scoop on the vendors and their products. We have assisted hundreds of financial institutions make educated system decisions – to evaluate their options, negotiate their contracts or convert to new systems. Visit our Web site or contact us today to learn how you can gain complete peace of mind when it comes to vendors.
